Where Have All the Good Wrestling Announcers Gone?

Submitted By James Walsh on 06/04/09

This is a little bit of an ominous title and is far more negative than I usually care to be but I wanted to express my discontent with the announcers of the business right now. This is not a rant against WWE announcers or TNA announcers. It is about BOTH! They all miss the small things and sometimes the small things aren't all that small. I'll give you an example from WWE Superstars tonight. Christian was calling the matc between David Hart Smith and Tommy Dreamer whom Christian will be facing at the pay-per-view. During the match, Tommy Dreamer put Smith in a Texas Clover Leaf which Striker, who is usually the best announcer the WWE has because of his accuracy and using simple logic to give premise to the stories, incorrectly called the Sharpshooter. Christian corrected him... No big deal. Then, Natalya grabbed a steel chair and attempted to slide it in to David Hart Smith. Christian left the booth and, from around the ring post, snatched the chair from Natalya. The activity with Natalya and Christian distracted the referee allowing Tyson Kid to get a shot in on Tommy Dreamer and cost him the match. At no point was the reason why Christian left the booth mentioned. Instead, it was presented as "Was he trying to distract the referee?" No, he was trying to stop foul play. After all, both Christian and Tommy Dreamer are the babyfaces in this 3-way-dance at the pay-per-view. So, the announcers should be giving Christian the benefit of the doubt first and just tossing in the concept that he may have had sinister reasons for getting involved. Instead, it was a case of assuming the worst and not even addressing the reason he got involved in the first place. In other words, as good as this announce tean has been, they failed at doing their job in this case. How are the fans supposed to get the storyline if the announcers don't get it and, perhaps more importantly, don't convey it to the audience? The above is more of a storyline issue where the announcers did not tell the story the way they should have. But, at least they got the moves right and when they didn't, were corrected and admitted the mistake. But, Michael Cole needs work! I am not a part of the "Bash Michael Cole Club". But, there are things that he does that can piss me off to no end. As Erik Clancy said on a recent live episode of The Interactive Interview, he always seems to act in a way that no human being does. "Is that?... Is that.... Is that... a rope???" Who talks like this? Granted, I am aware that Michael Cole is paid to do a job and probably was told to say it this way but come on! That I can tolerate even if it gets irritating. What I get incredibly pissed off about, and what I have actually dreamed about myself arguing with him about and then ultimately him getting right... This annoyance is the move the powerslam! Michael Cole has taken to calling it a "scoop slam". Huh? A scoop slap is an exagerated bodyslam. A powerslam, especially from an Irish whip position, cannot be confused with a scoop slam. If he is attempting to refer to the depth and angle of which the wrestler snaps off the move, call it a "scoop powerslam". But, when there is already a move called a "scoop slam", lets not reinvent the wheel... Or, lets just get the simple basics of the business straight. Jim Ross is either the best announcer of all-time or at the very least in the top 5 of all time. His voice screams pro wrestling and everyone knows it. He earned the respect he has as one of the greatest. But, even "Good Ol' JR" has annoyed me of late. For example, he called Chris Jericho on the before mentioned episode of Superstars a "narcissist". Narcissus is a storied figure from which the term comes from. He was said to have fallen in love with his own reflection. As a result, Lex Luger was given that ring name in 1993, mirror and all. Chris Jericho, however, is not a narcissist. His character is an arrogant prick... That is his role. But, at no point do we see Chris Jericho examining his Jon Bon Jovi 2K haircut in the mirror nor does he bring a mirror to the ring. He's not a narcissist, he's arrogant. Throwing big words that sound bad at someone might fool the less educated but I would really love if the appropriate adjective was used. TNA is guilty of it too. Do you want an example? Well, watch iMPACT! every Thursday and count the number of times that Mike Tenay and Don West manage to discuss anything and everything except the match at hand. This ticks me off because in the height of WCW, Mike Tenay was brought in to call the Luchador matches and while Bobby Heenan and Tony Schiavone were plugging the main event matches and the key storylines, Mike Tenay was the one who would bring the discussion back to the match at hand. Those days are over... Long over. And, what remains is a show that really needs a change of pace at the announcers booth. Another TNA example... Sting wrestled Christopher Daniels a few years ago. The whole match, Daniels mirrored a lot of Sting's offensive moves even hitting a Stinger's Splash in the corner. Don West was off on some tangent during that move, which lead into the finish of the match, and as a result both Tenay and West missed the call. As a result, the finish, to the TV audience, fell completely flat. Again, how are we supposed to follow the story if the announcers can't? Why have we come to this? Where is the Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon team of the new millennium? Sure, "The Brain" and Gorilla used to talk about things other than the match at hand but what they talked about was entertaining and it was very rare that their banter would negatively effect a storyline or the story of a match. Maybe I'm just being a negative jackass from lack of sleep but something had to have ignited the flame for me to write this babbling rant. Hopefully it makes sense to someone. But hey, usually I'm the only one that I don't understand. :: DISCUSS THIS POST ON THE FORUMS! :: SEE MICKIE JAMES & THE DIVAS NUDE! :: BUY WRESTLING DVD'S THROUGH OUR STORE! :: GO BACK TO THE HOME PAGE WRESTLING EPICENTER STORE IS OPEN! THE HOTTEST WRESTLING DVD'S ARE NOW AVAILABLE! We've got hundreds of pro wrestling DVD's at your fingertips! All your favorite stars such as Hulk Hogan, Kurt Angle, Sting, Ric Flair, Bruiser Brody, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, Harley Race, Andre the Giant, Dynamite Kid, Davey Boy Smith, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Booker T, & countless others! We've also got the Divas! Raw and extreme footage of Candice Michelle, Beulah McGillicutty, Gorgeous George, Tylene Buck, Francine, Christy Hemme, Dawn Marie, Madusa, and the rest of your favorite sexy divas! We even have got official WWE merchandise! All this can be yours in the Wrestling Epicenter Store! CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE STORE! 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