 Show: The Interactive
Interview
Guest: Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Date: 5/03
Your Hosts: Daniel Edler & James Walsh
Transcript By: James Walsh
Bobby 'The Brain' Heenan was one half of what most people
call their favourite announcing duo ever in the WWF, and definately ranks
up on top of the 'favourite ever' lists for many people, both as a manager
and a colour commentator.
Recently Bobby fell victim to throat cancer but is most definately on the
mend, as you will hear when you listen to the interview. Over an hour in
length!
BOBBY "THE BRAIN" HEENAN
-- Heenan grew up in Chicago. A wrestler lived in an
apartment building his mother ran. He saw how the crowd reacted when you
said "shut up" they got louder.
-- Buddy Rogers was his favorite growing up. He also liked the Crusher. He
likes big characters.
-- Bobby was born with red hair. When he was little, he had a tumor removed
in his stomach. The operation took his hair off, it came back blond. He bleaches
it now.
-- Nobody trained him. He was lucky for being in the right place at the right
time. He taught himself.
-- He felt he was too small to wrestle so he became a manager. He wanted
to be a wrestler for respect. He says managers are as important as the wrestler
if they do their job right. He said after the match he'd bleed and take more
bumps than the wrestler did. "I just played a different role, the same as
a referee. I meant as much on those cards as anybody else. If I wasn't, don't
put me in the main event.
-- Bobby says when you start out, you're stupid. You don't demand the money
because you just want to do it. But, as you get experience you realize that
you need the money because there are no benefits, hospitalization, or anything
of that nature. He talks about guys hurting themselves for nothing. "It's
a horrible business. I advise anybody that gets involved to get an education
first!"
-- Ray Stevens was fun to be around and he was great in the ring.
-- The Sheik was the best heel ever. "He was the most entertaining heel in
the history of the business."
-- A guy gave him a leg drop off the top and bent his head to the side and
that is what broke his neck. He had no insurance so he couldn't get surgery.
-- Vern Gagne was fun to work for. He was a disciplinarian He wanted you
to lay the shots in so it didn't look fake.
-- Nick Bockwinkel is proof that you can be educated beyond your means. He
said he'd ask Nick what time it is and Nick would tell him how to build a
watch.
-- Heenan got Hogan into the AWA. He saw Hogan work for Jim Barnett in 1978
and he knew he would be a star.
-- He says Hogan would have been a star without Vince and Vince would've
made it without Hogan.
-- He was Pretty Boy at first. Larry Hennig was called Pretty Boy. He hated
being called Gorgeous, the name they gave him instead. Ray Stevens came up
with the name.
-- Weasel came from Crusher and Lord Alfred Hayes. Pop Goes the Weasel was
the song they sang at first.
-- Hulk Hogan got him into the WWF. The AWA wasn't doing a lot and Vince
was growing. He felt Vern's booking was becoming absurd.
-- He felt embarrassed to be a wrestler because you had to pretend it was
all real. "Have you ever seen a guy wearing a mask in the on deck circle
of a baseball game? Have you ever seen a basketball player announced "From
Parts Unknown? Have you ever gotten real mad at a guy and airplane spin him?
It just doesn't happen," said Heenan. So, he felt Vince making it more MTV
based was great. He says Archie isn't really married to Edith isn't announced
because people know that already.
-- He says he doesn't like Hockey. He says it's a horrible game. "Lets play
on ice, give foreigners big sticks, hit a hard puck, AND put knives on our
shoes," said Heenan.
-- He doesn't feel shows like Tough Enough or Confidential expose the business
at all. "Everybody knows it's not real," said Heenan.
-- He denies that a lot was riding on Wrestlemania. He said nobody knows
their personal finances so it isn't fair to guess. He wonders if anybody
counted 93,000 people at Wrestlemania.
-- Big John Studd was a gentleman. He loved his family.
-- Working on Prime Time with Gorilla was the happiest time in the business.
He remembers Gorilla fondly and they had fun together at all times. He felt
it was a very tragic loss to his family when he passed away.
-- Very few wrestlers ever get mad. He said Diamond Dallas got mad when they
had Steiner throw Kimberly out of the car and Heenan said "That's the first
time she's ever been in the front seat." James breaks down to near tears
laughing at this line.
-- Heenan remembers an interview from a few days prior to this interview
when he was asked if he had ever been hit over the head with a chair. Heenan
replies by saying "I've been hit so many times over the head with a chair,
the top of my head smells like ass."
-- He had fun doing "squash match shows." He says the problem with today
is everyone insults the obvious. He says if a guy is fat and bald, you don't
insult the fact that they are fat and bald. You knock something that isn't
true because that gives the people a chance to disagree and boo.
-- He says Sid got angry with him about a remark he made. He claimed Sid
wasn't the "sharpest fork in the draw." He said Sid felt he was being called
stupid and said not to call him that. Heenan said fine and never put him
over on TV ever again.
-- Going out on the lift at Wrestlemania 3. The only thing he thought was
"There are millions of people over the world watching this. And there are
three people in the main event. Hulk Hogan, Andre, and myself. Me, a kid
with a 7th grade education. And now I'm riding on this cart with Andre on
what maybe and probably always will be the biggest in door crowd in wrestling
history."
-- Heenan was supposed to wrestle Jessie Ventura. But, Jessie had blood clots
in his legs and he couldn't wrestle. That's why he was put with John Studd.
He said that Andre against Studd was two giants but Studd couldn't take bumps
so Andre beat up Heenan instead.
-- He considered it an honor to have Andre ask for Heenan to manage him.
-- He hated managing the Red Rooster. When he thinks of Rooster and WCW,
he flushes the toilet. Heenan ACTUALLY flushes the toilet on the air.
-- Rick Rude felt Bobby was trying to steal his heat.
-- He says heat means nothing now. He says Sadam has heat. He said getting
over means you take bumps. He says that's the secret to getting over.
-- He stopped managing because his neck was in pain and he couldn't do it
anymore.
-- He left the WWF because Vince wanted him to take a 50% pay cut when his
contract expired. He said he wanted to do commercials. WCW offered him the
Saturday Night show with Shavone. When Heenan says Shavone, he flushes the
toilet again. He said he went to WCW for hospitalization to get his neck
fixed.
-- The idea of leaving was having Gorilla Monsoon throw him out. He talks
about staying in the hotel with Gorilla and not saying a word to each other
until he went to his room and had bananas there. He called Gorilla, they
met in the halls and cried for a half hour.
-- Heenan remembers Owen Hart for that night. He feels Owen is like Curt
Hennig in that they never got a big break but deserved it. He said Owen shook
his hand and sent him off and was one of the very few that did so that night.
He said Owen pulled ribs constantly.
-- WCW was wrestling's version of hee-haw He said Vince loves his business
but Ted Turner just saw it as programming.
-- He said Mongo was as good of an announcer as Heenan would be as a player
for the Bears. He said some guys just fit in certain places and some don't.
He said Gone with the Wind would never have been a great movie if Richard
Simmons played the lead role. He said Mongo was a great guy but he just wasn't
a wrestler.
-- Eric Bischoff treated everybody horribly. He called him a roof and siding
salesman from Minnesota.
-- He said he is not surprised to see Bischoff on WWF TV.
-- He said WCW failed because nobody in charge knew anything about wrestling.
He said a lot of people that worked there were good people but some of them
had no idea about TV. "Some of them have no business near a TV dinner," said
Heenan.
-- He says putting the belt on David Arquette was a big mistake. He also
jokes about Buff Bagwell's mother being the tag champion wondering what they
were thinking.
-- He said he was taken off Nitro for Mark Madden because they wanted a more
MTV look. "Who picked that one? Ray Charles?" asked Heenan.
-- He said Eric Bischoff didn't understand Heenan's humor so he was censored
quite a bit in WCW.
-- He said WCW put the announcers in a public bathroom to get dressed for
the shows. He said fans would come in to use the bathroom while he was trying
to get dressed.
-- He says WCW was the first time he ever lost the desire to work. He said
Rude once asked Heenan if he was going to bump when there was only a dozen
or so people in the crowd. Heenan said they paid to get in, they got to see
a show. He says you can't short change the fans.
-- He didn't know what the Hogan Russo thing was about. He just didn't care.
-- His contract expired with WCW and they didn't resign him because they
knew it wouldn't be around in a year.
-- He says WCW had to actor to the racial lawsuit they had. He feels that
is why Earnest Miller was given a push, Booker T was given the world title,
and Stevie Ray was made the announcer on Thunder. He said they were all deserving
guys, though.
-- He said Wrestlemania 17 was fun to do. He said it was like going from
the minor leagues to the majors.
-- Heenan says wrestling today doesn't impress him. He wonders how many times
you can look at a pair of breasts and be surprised or entertained by it.
He wonders how or why Lawler carries on like he does. "What did this guy
live in a cell for the first 40 years of his life? Doesn't he know he can
go buy a playboy? He can go buy a rubber doll and blow it up! He can blow
it up and bite the ass until it farts and flies out the window! That's the
truth! Jerry, c'mon! WOW JERRY! WOAH! For as big of a heart attack as Jerry
has every time he sees boobies, you're going to have to put a rain coat on
him." He also remarks that Lawler's voice sounds like someone tied a rubber
band around his nuts.
-- The XWF was a joke but they paid him a lot for a few days work. He said
he was starting to think like OJ by living in his house with his wife. He
said he knew it would never work because of who ran it. He said nobody in
charge new how to get the company over because nobody in charge was ever
over themselves. He points at Jimmy Hart, Brian Knobs, and Jerry Saggs. He
said it was a want to be WWF with no talent.
-- Heenan says women can't get over in wrestling if all they do is pull their
clothes off. He says maybe if they got in a cage and fought or took real
bumps, they'd get over. But, taking off their clothes just doesn't impress
him.
-- He talks about the Kane angle with the dead girl. He says he is surprised
they still have sponsorship after that. He said he has absolutely no idea
about why they did that or who remotely enjoyed it. He said he is disappointed
in Helmsley for not refusing to do it. He wonders how someone that created
Wrestlemania could do such a stupid angle. He said he's asked people why
and was told "What do you want?"
-- He feels wrestling will always be around but for the most part wrestling
is dead.
-- He says that all wrestlers should try not to be seen before the matches.
He says the fans should always see you in the arena first before you go out
and sign for them.
-- He feels the next Bobby Heenan or the next big manager. Shane McMahon.
-- He feels Eric Bischoff couldn't manage lunch.
-- He said he would like to come back to do Confidential. He doesn't want
to work a hectic schedule anymore but if the money was right, he'd do it.
-- He says he loves NWA TNA because the guys are working hard. He says he
is also working on MachoMan.com with some real young guys. He says he hopes
none of them make it so they don't get stuck in this business but a lot of
them have what it takes.
-- He feels hardcore wrestling is pointless. He wonders how many times a
guy can get hit with a garbage can or "bullshit" kendo sticks. He likes
psychology.
-- "I died two years ago," said Heenan when asked about health. He weighs
185 pounds now which is up from 168 which is what he weighted when he was
his most sick.
-- "Every time I have sex with my wife, it's doggy style. I sit and beg and
she rolls over and plays dead."
-- "What does Sadam Husane and pantyhose have in common? They both irritate
bush."
-- He is having problems with the publishers of his original book. He is
writing another one.
-- He feels that wrestlers can't let the fans get to them. He doesn't care
if someone from Texas doesn't like him. He says he doesn't care if he gets
buried.
-- "Everyone should get cancer because nothing else is important. You get
up everyday and see your family and friends, that's what is important."
Plus an incredible word associations game with funny responses to names like
Vince McMahon, Bruiser Brody, Tony Shavone, and more!
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