THE RANT: Nobody Was Better than Chris Kanyon

Posted By James Walsh on 09/24/21

There are a lot of timeframe holes in last night's Chris Kanyon episode of Dark Side of the Ring. As a fan, I know alot about the timeframe and some of it just doesn't add up. Some could be changed over time in our heads as we look back and some could be due to the edits made by the producers. But, following it to the letter makes there some obvious holes in the story.

First, James Mitchell is a gem of a human being. I don't know if there is anyone more straight forward and honest in all of wrestling and I've spoken to almost 800 wrestlers over the years. His stuff is without question fact... Except his hair. James had a bad ass head of hair well into the 2000's. Don West said he looked like the guy in the window on the Eagles' Hotel California album cover. But, that's such a small thing to nit pick.

A hole that bugged me was the story Diamond Dallas Page tells about when the nWo started on July 7, 1996, Kanyon realized that the Blood Runs Cold feud was over. That is pretty crazy because Glacier, the biggest part of Blood Runs Cold and the person behind the overly long build up, made his debut on September 9th, 1996 some 2 months after the advent of the nWo. Now, I'm not an idiot. I realize the realization was that the nWo was a real feeling angle and the Mortal Kombat inspired feud was more pre-nWo feeling. But, that sudden realization, "Our push is over now" never happened or didn't happen when Hogan joined Hall and Nash at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Another hole in the timing was later on. The 605 The Reunion PPV where DDP asks Kanyon if he's gay was filmed in the spring of 2006. But, the very next clip discussed the WrestleMania incident from Madison Square Garden in 2004, 2 years prior.

John Cena implying someone isn't a good technical wrestler is like a hooker telling someone they have low moral fiber. For what Cena did for thousands of Make a Wish kids, I'll always say his push was warranted because he gave joy to kids who needed it. But, from a smart wrestling fan perspective, he sucked in the ring. And, until recently, he often had mixed crowd reactions even at his hardest pushed times because many realized he just wasn't that good. If Chris Kanyon from 1998 put on a wrestling seminar in one room and John Cena in 2006 put on a wrestling seminar in the next, I think everyone knows what room I would have been sat in to learn in and it wouldn't be in West Newbury.

Ric Flair has had his nose nestled firmly in Triple H's crack for 20 years solid now. What he did by calling in was clearly a company thing to win points with the asshole the tip of his nose was govering. If last week didn't kill off what should have died 30 years ago, I hope this did. What a disgusting act to call in to a radio show a guy regularly guest stars on and say that to him. And, his body language when hearing it? If that doesn't punch you in the gut emotionally, you don't have a soul.

I talked to Kanyon once for a phone interview and he was driving to Impact Wrestling at that time to discuss his openly gay character to them. From what I remember, Orlando Jordan performed this type of character more in line with what Kanyon had in mind in Impact after his WWE run. Impact, TNA, wasn't even mentioned during this. I feel that counts as a hole.

During that phone interview, I didn't get a "liner" or station ID. But, I did have the brain to have my first question be "Who's better than Kanyon" so his responds, "NOBODY!" has been a part of my show's intro, sans the liner, for years and will continue to be for as long as I continue to annoy people to do interviews with me... Which should be for a long time to come! I'm so glad I got that snippet. It means a lot. It really does.

I wish Myspace existed. I had a long, and I mean LONG conversation with Kanyon over Myspace about a match he had with Chris Benoit. I had found it on a VHS tape and loved the simple story of him trying to avoid Benoit's knife edge chop. So, I messaged him, totally out of the blue, and said how I loved the simple genius of that match. He seemed to really enjoy that message and went into great detail on things about it. I really, more so than the phone calls from a few years prior, got to see how his wrestling mind worked and he was so gracious and genuine. I really loved that chat. Lost in the archives of the Interweb somewhere.

I am a Donal dTrump voting conservative patriot and I couldn't give less of a damn if Kanyon boinked women or men. I enjoyed his work. ANd, most of us fans felt the same way. That said, most of the office didn't. I have ZERO doubt that the beating he took after the ridiculous Boy George performance was because someone found out. WWE is the Evil Empire, after all. And, to be evil, they have to do evil things. That was pure evil. I had not seen that in 15 years or more. I wish I hadn't. It pissed me off more now than ever.

Brian Cage Button came out looking like a million bucks. I was so glad he was on this show. With his use of "Who betta?" as a catch phrase, #AEW should allow him to actually be a babyface and maybe even save CM Punk against Team Taz. With his size and skill level, the concept of him not being one of their top level stars and just existing on the card sometimes boggles my mind. If anyone good comes out of this documentary, I hope it is that Brian Cage garners a sympathetic babyface following.

Anyway, that is my 2 cents and a penny for my thoughts. You can fight over who keeps the extra coin.